Boyfriend overseas..?

I’m 22 (23 in sept), and he’s 25.

We’ve been dating for over 3 years now, and have known each other for longer than that. He’s my college sweetheart.

When we’re together, it’s wonderful. We laugh, and smile constantly. He’s into art (like me) and music (plays many instruments). Overall, just an awesome guy with a perfect sense of humour for me. He can always make me laugh when I’m down.. He actually hounded me to date him in the beginning until I finally accepted after a few months.

We went to China for a year to teach English after college. Afterwards, we both came back to Canada and had to decide what we wanted to do next. I figured I should decide what I want to do as a career, since I don’t want to be stuck going back to school any older than I already am. So I chose to begin a degree in Ecology..

He doesn’t know what he wants to do with himself. He can easily get (and has gotten) jobs teaching piano and guitar in Canada, but he prefers the attitude of the Chinese (and I can’t blame him, most of them are much friendlier than westerners like us). He decided (halfheartedly and halfhazardly) to head back to China to learn Mandarin (in a University near the ocean). He can be very scatter-brained, though that’s part of his charm.

We decided to have an open-relationship before he left since we both wanted to be realistic as per our "needs" if such a thing would happen to arise while we are apart. This doesn’t mean that we do not love eachother, we both agreed equally to this.. Example: If you want something and can’t have it, you’re going to want it even more. Might as well just level the playing field.

He was reluctant to leave and we were both very sad upon parting when March rolled around and he had to go. He will not be back until January.

Now our method of communication is msn (since it’s webcam and mic -if we could only get the mic part working). We only communicate on weekends since the 12hr difference causes one of us to be up super late (since we’re generally both late risers).

So during March and the beginning of April, we kept up pretty steady. Chatting and whatnot.. Sharing news.

But lately, he hasn’t been going on.. He’s been reassuring me that he still misses me, and sending me a message once in a blue moon, but not coming on msn to talk to me anymore on weekends.

He said that he hasn’t found anyone of interest (since we said that we would be honest about those kinds of things, though not descriptive). But says that he is kept quite busy meeting people and getting out, which I’m very happy for him, but isn’t there a little time he could squeeze in for me..?

Now he’s not planning to continue into his second semester on University there learning Mandarin. He’s planning on getting a job, then moving out to a place near a beach to keep windsurfing while learning Mandarin from the locals on his own (since he says that his classmates are demotivating). This said, we’ve discussed whether or not he wants to stay there for good.. He’s teetering.

I’d like to know what the general populous may think of this. I mean, it’s hard to keep myself preoccupied with studies and work when I’m in the town where we met and everything around me reminds me of times with him (he doesn’t have to confront this daily atmosphere of missing me, and we’ve even talked about that).

I miss him alot, no idea how much.. Trying to take up at home yoga for an added distraction (since my good friends are out of town and it’s hard to see them), but at bedtime when I want him around, I find it very hard to think that he may not be missing me at all when all I want is for him to be holding me.

It’s distracting me from the rest of my life.. Man it’s pathetic.

Any advice or thoughts? Nothing rough guys because things are tough as it is.

Much appreciated, sorry for the long-winded "question".

I kinda understand ur pain cos i’m into a LDR. Well, i’m gonna make this as short & straight to the point as i can..
1. Its either u’re with him or not.
2. If u wanna be with him, then u’ve got to go over to china, but be ready for anything.
3. If u cant go to china, then u should be ready to plan a life without him, definitely he’ll hook up with someone else without ur knowledge. The fact that he hardly has time to msn u is a clue..
4. Better still, talk with him and see what he’s up for…